Hospital Tour....of Terror!

Tonight Ryan and I took the hospital tour where Hoagie is scheduled to be born. The hospital is shiny and new and freshly remodeled, and the tour started off ok, but as soon as we got to the Labor and Delivery floor I immediately StOPPED HaVING FUn. Ryan seemed to enjoy the whole damn thing, but for me it was just one more unpleasant surprise after another. The private L&D rooms were nice enough, with real wood cabinets and windows and doors (I guess that's what all those people were oohing and awwing about, but all I saw were the wires and the sterilized sheets and the "WHAT, not all the rooms have windows? How the hell am I supposed to escape if there are no windows?!?!". I heard people laughing around me and commenting how "nice everything is...ooh, a flatscreen tv, sounds like a party..." WTF? What are all these people thinking? This is a hospital where we are all going to come to have our bodies ripped open and wires and tubes and pokey things protruding from all our orifices. That does NOT sound like a party, it sounds like a medical emergency (WHICH IT IS!). I know Ryan thought he did something wrong during the tour, because as we walked back to the car I could barely manage the energy to spit out my gum, much less laugh at his jokes. Sorry Ry, I do think you're funny, just not when faced with my own mortality.

(Sigh). Hopefullly the hospital-induced panic will wear off by the time I actually have to be admitted there :(